“I’m going to a wedding,” announced my three-year-old daughter with her Elsa dress and play high heels on. “Oh yeah? Who’s wedding?” I said looking up from the article I was writing with a smile and giving her my full attention. “My wedding!” she declared with a bright smile dancing in her eyes. Playing along, I replied, “Who are you marrying?” I figured she would say Clayton, the teen aged hockey-playing son of our daycare provider. He is sweet with kids and always has time to tickle her. “Myself!” she declared and I couldn’t stop from laughing. Anika always keeps us on our toes and often replies with the opposite of what we expect or, like in this case, something entirely different. “Brenda and Adrian can come, but you can’t,” she continued. “Why not?” I said in an empathetic voice, “Can daddy come? We want to be at your wedding and would be really sad not to see you get married.” She thought for two seconds and said, “Well, I guess so, but there aren’t any chairs left.” Her voice lowered as she said this empathetically, truly sensing the sadness in my voice. This dialogue made me smile and feel sad at the same time. I cannot even imagine what I will feel when she eventually does get married some day. This kid is dreaming big and often carries our wedding photos around and excitedly tells us about our wedding day, even though she wasn’t around yet.
Anika also informed me that there will be treats – cake, brownies and ice cream, but it won’t be gluten free. I love the moments when she shares her vivid imagination that comes during the funniest times. Sometimes she cuts in while I’m talking to her daddy. Other times she interrupts Chelsea from our favorite coffee shop (you know, the one with gummies and a pond). Today she was interrupting while I wrote an article on my tablet while sitting on the couch. Working at home with her is a work in progress with frustrating moments of interruptions, but I can’t imagine running her to daycare every day. Her wedding plans at age three – which she will talk about for the next six months and most likely remember them when she’s planning her real wedding 40 years from now – are the reason why being a stay at home working mom are a blast. I truly cherish it and remember the good times when I stumble through her toys decorating the living room and hear, “Mom, I made a mess!”
Lately, people have complimented me on balancing home and work and I just laugh. I don’t feel very balanced, but I see how God has guided everything. I used to focus on more technical writing and learned that certain types of writing are easier to do and more fulfilling as this point with a kid at home. God has blessed me richly and I’m excited to work every day, even on the days that I know will be challenging as soon as I wake up. This journey of blending work and being a mom certainly hasn’t been easy, but I know writing is my calling. I’ve always processed things in story form – I used to think everyone did this, but learned that isn’t the case. I wrote stories as a kid. Writing makes everything clear and makes life easier to sort through.
What is your passion? Think you have to put it on hold while you raise a family? I don’t believe that or I would have given up on writing long ago. I truly believe that God places certain desires on our hearts because He knows that they are the most rewarding. Living out your dreams requires work, determination, some late nights and lots of coffee. God doesn’t give us dreams that we can’t achieve.
photo credit: Tiara via photopin (license)