Have you ever caught yourself trying to blame someone else when something isn’t going as planned? You know it’s the slow driver in front of you that has made you 20 minutes late, not over sleeping. If people would move faster you wouldn’t have to wait so long in the grocery store. You can’t fall asleep so it must be your husband’s fault because he turned over. I’m so guilty of this last one and it seems so ridiculous now!
A few nights ago I was falling asleep on the couch so I went to bed early and could not fall asleep as I became wide awake. This annoys me, so naturally I want to place blame on the little reasons that may prevent me from falling asleep, which is how I started blaming my husband for why I could sleep. The light on his cell phone. His coughing (which wasn’t even bad). Him rolling over. These are so petty, but it’s these pesky little reasons that seem so grand at the time that turn into pebbles between us and soon it’s the Wall of China.
This can happen with your kids, coworkers and even strangers at the grocery store. Yes, I have been rude at the grocery store because I didn’t feel good or because I was in a hurry. Yes, it’s totally embarrassing thinking back now, but why in the world do I demand placing blame on others who did not cause these situations? It seems justify able at the time, doesn’t it? I’m annoyed so let me tell you why you are annoying me. What a great way to connect with others – especially your family. That is not logical or even fair, but it happens doesn’t it?
So how do we stop blaming everyone? I’ve learned that removing myself from the situation is the first step. It’s my bad mood and annoyance, not their’s. Then I take a minute to really think through what’s happening and I end up laughing at myself at how ridiculous my behavior was. Next comes the apology for my rudeness and an explanation, but not – absolutely not – a justification for my behavior.